Life would be a whole lot harder if everyone hated us; wars wouldn’t exist, political upheavals wouldn’t happen and rates would lower.
Unfortunately, no matter how hard you try sometimes, there will always be people who don’t like you. And guess what, they don’t have to.
Friendships wouldn’t feel as good and love wouldn’t be as amazing if we weren’t reminded of what rejection, hatred and alienation is like.
Wondering if someone loathes you?
Here are 10 signs someone secretly dislikes you.
- They’re Curt with you.
Do you ever feel like you can talk to your best friend 24/7?
Even if the two of you aren’t having a deep philosophical conversation, talking about something as silly as cheese or bricks seems entertaining right?
But when someone dislikes you, it’s the complete opposite; they cut the conversation short. If you ask them how their day is going, they’ll give you one worded answers like “fine” or “okay”.
It becomes clear they don’t want to talk to you.
- The body language says it all.
When we like someone, we have a tendency to make eye contact, mirror their body language and leaning closer.
But when someone dislikes you, they will avoid eye contact, cross their arms and lean away from you. They do this in order to protect themselves from you, creating an invisible barrier that keeps you out.
But, it’s a common defense mechanism humans use.
- There’s a lack of trust.
Vulnerability is the key ingredient to establishing a strong connection, but when someone secretly dislikes you, they will be suspicious of your intentions, even if they’re good.
For some people, it just takes a while for them to open up. But this can just as well be a sign that they dislike you when you put in constant effort to get to know them, but they keep you at an arm’s length.
- They get easily frustrated with you.
Do the two of you argue or disagree over matters on a daily basis?
When someone dislikes you, they’ll do anything except make things easy for you. They might have been in a good mood, but once they interact with you, they turn sour, bitter and angry.
- Their etiquette is forced.
When someone outwardly dislikes you, they will be loud about it. Whether it’s lashing out on you regularly or telling you to your face.
When they secretly dislike you however, they might try to get along just to avoid conflict. Whether it means forcing a smile or doing things to keep the peace, they will keep the surface clean between you two.
Deep down though, they may think ill of you and display this through their passive-aggressive behavior.
- They avoid you as much as possible.
Do they live or work in close proximity to you, but limit communication to emails or text messages?
When someone secretly dislikes you, they will do whatever it takes to have minimum contact with you.
It’s especially a sign if they find out your schedule just to avoid you during your lunch hours or time you need to occupy the same space.
And when you do end up bumping into one another, they’ll always have an excuse ready at hand to avoid seeing you again.
- They listen to you half-heartedly.
When we care about someone, we usually do our best to listen to what they say. But if someone is only listening to half of your story and zones out for the rest of it, it’s clear they just aren’t that invested in you.
Other indicators include scanning over your messages instead of fully reading them, giving you only half the answers you need.
- They don’t make an effort to understand you.
Feeling misunderstood can be a rather alienating experience. So when someone dislikes you, they won’t want to provide support to your ideas and values.
Instead, they’ll make you feel invisible, unheard and will dismiss your thoughts, whether it’s done subtly or explicitly.
One-upping is another strategy they use to control the conversation instead of allowing you to give your own inputs.
- They never invite you to social gatherings.
Why would you even want to be invited to someone’s birthday party when you know they hate you?
Still, it hurts to know right?
When you see all your friends, families and co-workers being invited, everyone except you, it slowly becomes obvious they want nothing to do with you.
- Your gut tells you something is wrong.
Sometimes your gut feeling is not enough, especially when anxiety makes even sound judgments wrong.
But, if you’re getting a strong message from your gut free from anxiety, your instincts are telling you it’s not worth your time trying to change this person’s mind.
Life is short, cherish your moments with people who love you and leave the rest behind.